Theseus doesn't even touch you if you stay moving. Like I said Asterius is the only threat from champions and is super easy to read and respond to because you can actually see whats going on and you're not apt to dodge into a wall of attacks. No he doesn't lol he's constantly flooding the screen with the orbs while also sending several waves out underneath them which also do like 40-50 damage themselves when not swinging oars. His ridiculous strength is good for a chuckle the first couple times, but man I wish the fight wasn't such a risk for so lil reward every single time. It's basically just my hate that keeps bringing me back I'm doing it to myself. I know I'm just salty cuz he ended a good start. I've beaten the game and I clear my runs through pretty much anytime I don't borrow the obol. Either take his health down a bit, ease the damage, or make his reward worth the fight.
I get the fight is almost a joke more than anything and his strength is a meme, but I feel it needs some balancing. Which for such a hard fight 20% is all you get? Couldn't even go 25%? While being taken for over half your hp for any slip-up (which effectively becomes one shot for all of your DD) hes simultaneously one of the tankiest units in the game. That is unless you come in late game and negate over half the reward by not having the discount for earlier shops. This fight is much easier to read tbf, then but in the chaos he comes up with that oar and takes over half your health in one hit. I hate this fight in the same way I hate the Asphodel witch miniboss, for covering the screen with projectiles. Yet another area of the game where you are set at a pretty significant disadvantage if you are doing a melee weapon run. I typically go through most if not all my DD fighting him.
I know he's optional I don't have to fight him but fuck me yes I do.
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